I remembered recently an interesting conversation with a colleague after a training session.  The discussion centered around a particular employee in a key position who was repeatedly demonstrating poor human relations skills in interactions with others internally, and even with external clients and vendors.  When I asked my friend what she did in the situation she was describing with her employee, I learned that she was waiting for the performance appraisal (coming up in a few months) to discuss her concern.  The truth was that she hadn’t given much thought to clearly identifying and defining the problem, much less figuring how to deliver the hard truth.  Fortunately, I was comfortable enough in our relationship to state the obvious:  Performance feedback is best provided as an ongoing dialogue (in the moment) between leaders and their staff members.  Waiting is essentially avoidance behavior, and is not helpful to the employee or the organization.  I asked my client to “seize the teachable moment”, as I’ve tried to do with my kids over the years. I let her know that she’d be doing herself and her staff member a big favor.  Assuming that her motives are helping the individual to grow and improve, while assuring his future success in the organization, it really is a compliment to the employee, and my friend should interpret her own actions in that light.  She is simply doing the hard work of helping the individual live up to the full potential that she sees in him.

Giving effective feedback is a skill that can be learned, and constantly refined and strengthened.  Constructive feedback is certainly not the only kind employees need in order to do their best work.  Here’s our advice:  Cultivate the ability to give positive and constructive feedback in a way that is helpful and clear, and lets the individual know that you care about their growth and development.  Ultimately, your team members will be grateful for the courtesy of your honest communication.

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